Your dad touched me again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
