You're earring is so big in my mouth
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I just sharted jello shots
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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