I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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