she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
