no, he came in my armpit
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
