i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
