Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
