apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
