so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
