scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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