He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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