Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
