why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
