weddingsv make me drug and hornr
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
