He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
