I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
