I hate all girls vehemently.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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