she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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