i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
