I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
