Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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