I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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