How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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