if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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