i love accidental penises.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
