well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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