i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
