strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
