i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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