Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
