i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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