The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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