Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize