I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
