Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
