Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
