you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
