i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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