fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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