The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
