i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
