I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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