my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize