Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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