I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
