she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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