just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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