did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
