just survived the first fart of the relationship.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
