I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
