I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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