real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
