Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
