You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize