one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
