I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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