Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
