is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
