The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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