I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
