it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
