Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
